About me

(And this blog)

I am a South African teaching English to high schoolers on on an island in Japan. I grew up in Cape Town and studied history and linguistics. I love food, cats, social justice, and critically delving into established ways of thinking. Also, I am 24 years old and recently married.

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The idea for this blog came from how weird the decision to engage in the tradition of matrimony made me feel. Every time I tell people I'm married, I feel the need to follow it up with "But we only got married so he could get a visa to live with me in Japan!" Even saying the word "husband" makes me cringe and make a weird face. So for a while, I have been trying to reconcile my feminist criticism of the institution of marriage, my personal discomfort with being thought of as a 'wife' and the part of me that was just super excited to have a wedding.

This made me wonder: Why do I have all these conflicting feelings, and why do others not seem to have them? What's up with all the varying discourses around marriage, and why don't we talk about it more? So this is my attempt to unpack my own feelings and experiences around being married, while trying to write in a way that is both thoughtful and readable. Ultimately, I want to figure stuff out for myself, and if I can, make other people think a little. Subscribe for a new post every month or so, and message me if you have any insights or experiences to share! I always want to hear others' thoughts on this topic.